Bring it, Kindergarteners

22

Thank God for real Christians

Do you find yourself asking WWJD now and then? Ask no further in the case of the death of Heath Ledger, Jesus would obviously hate him and picket at his funeral.

Everything is great.

People
Access Hollywood
Entertainment Weekly
Rolling Stone
All Clear Channel DJs

You've all lost your balls. Many bands, movies, actors and singers suck and suck badly. Don't be afraid to tell the truth and go beyond your well approved script of ass kissing.

Vindication. Nobody likes clowns.

Does anyone really like Clowns?

Seriously?



Finally. A little backup straight out of the University of Sheffield.

LONDON (Reuters) - Bad news for Coco and Blinko -- children don't like clowns and even older kids are scared of them.

The news that will no doubt have clowns shedding tears was revealed in a poll of youngsters by researchers from the University of Sheffield who were examining how to improve the decor of hospital children's wards.

The study, reported in the Nursing Standard magazine, found all the 250 patients aged between four and 16 they quizzed disliked the use of clowns, with even the older ones finding them scary.

Britney Free Friday

Friday, January 25th is Britney (Spears) Free. Not one word. Don't give a shit if she drove somewhere too fast. Shopped at a Rite Aid or spoke in a fake accent. Save it.

This means you:

TMZ
Entertainment Tonight
Inside Edition
The Soup
Access Hollywood
Extra

BRITNEY FREE FRIDAY!

Radio Days

Watching Talk To Me really makes you long to be a DJ back in the good old days. When people picked out music and played what they wanted. Not the stiff computerized list that leaves you to be nothing more than a talking head. I wonder how many DJs don't even know half of what they're playing. Or worse yet, like most of that top 40 shit they spoon feed the public. Over and over, same playlist hour by hour.

Some help for the musically challenged:

Jonsey's Jukebox

little radio

WSOU

Oprah says: War is Peace, Slavery is Freedom, Ignorance is Strength

Oprah Winfrey will soon have a television channel all to herself.

She picks books for you to read.

She picks movies for you to see.

She picks doctors for you to go to, even though they sometimes are lying hacks

She endorses politicians for you to vote for.


All crimes begin with a thought. So, if you control thought, you can control crime. "Thoughtcrime is death. Thoughtcrime does not entail death, Thoughtcrime is death.... The essential crime that contains all others in itself".

2008 Spirit Awards

With the Golden Globes and possibly Oscars going under to the writers strike, the Spirit Awards this year loom even larger. Not to mention they always seem more honest and less popularity contest as they are aimed at Independent Films.

Spirit Award show will go on as they have worked a deal with the writers. Saturday, February 23rd on IFC.

So, if you had the power of Greyskull, who would you vote for?

Major catagories:

Best Feature Film:
The Diving Bell and The Butterfly
I'm Not There
Juno
A Mighty Heart
Paranoid Park

Best Director:
Todd Haynes - I'm Not There
Tamara Jenkins - The Savages
Jason Reitman - Juno
Julian Schabel - The Diving Bell and the Butterfly
Gus Van Sant - Paranoid Park

Male Lead:
Pedro Castaneda - August Evening
Don Cheadle - Talk to Me
Philip Seymour Hoffman - The Savages
Tony Leung - Lust, Caution
Frank Langella - Starting Out in the Evening

Female Lead:
Angelina Jolie - A Mighty Heart
Sienna Miller - Interview
Ellen Page - Juno
Parker Posey - Broken English
Tang Wei - Lust, Caution

Why the long face?

Chinese man with massive facial tumor undergoes surgery

HONG KONG: Chinese surgeons said Tuesday they successfully operated on a man with a massive 15 kilogram (33-pound) tumor that hung down from his face, obscuring his features and warping his backbone.

How exactly do you let it get beyond, say, the size of a grapefruit?

The writers strike and you

What does all this fuss over the Writers Strike mean to you?

Why, it means some killer new television shows you're sure to love.

Parking Wars is an instant classic waiting to happen. It goes deep inside the Philadelphia Parking Authority and shows the people that hand out tickets. Wow. Set your TIVO now! A must see.

Make Me A Supermodel sounds like a dream come true, doesn't it? How else can we increase the population of Bulimics in this country? They're a dying breed.

Ghost Hunters International When believing in fake shit in your own Country just isn't good enough.

Television. Writers free since October 31, 2007 and it shows.

Poor Hillary taking some abuse

Two protesters interrupt Clinton's campaign stop in N.H., begin screaming 'Iron my Shirt!'

Hillary Rodham Clinton's campaign stop was interrupted Monday when two men stood in the crowd and began screaming, "Iron my shirt!" during one of her final appearances before the New Hampshire primary.

Now, you won't hear any claims of being anything cool like TMZ but here are exclusive pictures from said event:

The end of the mortgage bubble could end those ads you love

You know the ads. Mortgage and bill paying ads with dancing cowboys, aliens, women, cute animals, whatever else can be made to dance via animated .gif file.



Thankfully as the mortgage industry collapses on its greedy self, online ads will be one of the first plugs to be pulled. But now where will you find a company this professional to trust us with your thousands of dollars?

Death Community Pool - 2008

People you can expect to not see hit New Years 2009. Have your own list?

Bob Barker - He's 84 and retired with nothing to do. Idle hands are the devils plucking ground.

Keith Richards - Sure he's fermented and preseved but he's also 64 years old, 80 pounds and full of more toxins than an unfiltered cigarette.

Dr. Jack Kevorkian AKA Dr. Death - He was just let out of prison but he's terminally ill with Hepatitis C and weighs even less than Keith Richards.

Phyllis Diller - She's 90! That's all you need to know.

Jack LaLanne - He's 93 and still works out 2 hours a day. A heart was only built to take so much. As a side note from a lazy person - go relax on the couch with a bag of chips you freak!

Now for some upset specials:

Steve-O - Sure, he's only 33 but if you know him from Jackass then you'd know he isn't long for this world. Not to mention he seems drunk 24/7.

Michael Jackson - One of these days more than his nose is going to slide off him. And TMZ will be there.

Britney Spears - Train wreck. Just tonight was in a police stand off over her kids and was taken to the hospital for psych evaluation.

Kidnapping or Foreplay - You decide

TUCSON, Ariz. - A law school student and former beauty queen who has posed for a racy calendar while brandishing a weapon has been accused of kidnapping, biting and threatening a former boyfriend with a handgun.

Before:




And after what may or may not be Meth:



"When Fulbright finished her shower, she allegedly bit the man on his forearm, right hand and ear, held a butcher knife to his head, and told him she was going to kill him."

Maybe he called the cops too soon. Sounds like it was just getting hot.

January 1st always means...

Hangovers? College Football? Taking down Christmas decorations?

Yeah yeah, but more importantly, it means new laws to mess with your life!

Here in California dozens of new state laws go into effect. It always seems like a secret, doesn't it? Like you're left out of these changes until it's too late? Have no fear, below is all you'll ever need to read:

- Legalization of importing kangaroo products from non-endangered kangaroos
- Ban on employers from implaning ID tags under the skin of their employees
- Pets are now included in protective orders for spousal abuse
- Kids under 18 need parents ok to go to tanning booth

Your gubmint in action. Always out for your best interests.